NAMI Basics Classes This Fall

NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania will be holding a NAMI Basics class this fall - details below!

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Class Dates: Classes start Thursday, Oct. 13 and will meet weekly for six weeks through Thursday, Nov. 17

Class Time: 6:30 p.m - 9 p.m.

Location: NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania, 105 Braunlich Drive Suite 200, Pittsburgh PA 15237

To Register: Contact the NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania office at 412-366-3788

About NAMI BASICS
Parents and other primary caregivers of children and adolescents living with mental illness have diverse and complex needs. Getting the right diagnosis and treatment, as well as education and support, is critical for the entire family.

Education and support for families helps them to live the best life possible while managing the trauma that often accompanies the onset of mental illness.

NAMI Basics allows families to connect to one another while learning about mental illness and empowering themselves to overcome new challenges. It provides information families want and need about their child.

What makes the NAMI Basics education program unique?
Taught by parents or other primary caregivers who have lived similar experiences with their own children, NAMI Basics is an educational program that provides learning and practical insights for families. Course elements include:

- The trauma of mental illness for the child and family

- The biology of mental illness: getting an accurate diagnosis

- The latest research on the medical aspects of the illness and advances in treatment

- An overview of treatment options

- The impact of a child's mental illness on the rest of the family - caregivers and siblings

- An overview of the systems involved in caring for children and teens and the importance of record keeping

The course:
- Consists of six different classes, 2 1/2 hours each, offered on a weekly basis

- Is offered free of charge

- Is taught by trained NAMI family members who have children with mental illness

- Follows a structured format covering issues frequently faced by families dealing with a child or teen living with mental illness

Who can attend a NAMI Basics course?
The NAMI Basics course is specifically designed for parents and other primary caregivers of children and adolescents who are living with mental illness. It is not necessary that the child has received a specific diagnosis. Caregivers who suspect their child is experiencing symptoms of mental illness can also benefit greatly from the course as they begin to navigate the evaluation and treatment process.

Contributed by Lora M. Dziemiela, Program Secretary

Family to Family Class: Dormont

It may still be summertime, but we're always planning ahead at NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania! We're pleased to announce our first Family to Family education class for Fall 2011 - details are below!

Location:  Pittsburgh Baptist Church, 3100 Pioneer Ave. Dormont, PA  15226
Start Date:  Tuesday, August 30th
Time: To Be Announced

For more information or to register for the class, give us a call at 412-417-9810 or email Lora Dziemiela at ldziemiela@namiswpa.org.

Contributed by Lora M. Dziemiela, Program Secretary

NAMI Basics

NAMI Basics is the new Signature Education Program for parents and other caregivers of children and adolescents living with mental illnesses. The NAMI Basics course is taught by trained teachers who are the parent or caregiver of individuals who developed the symptoms of mental illness prior to the age of 13 years.

The course consists of six classes, each lasting for 2 ½ hours. Class will be offered weekly. All instruction materials are FREE to participants.

Watch "Understanding Mental Illness in Children" on the NAMI Basics Video page. Videos created by NAMI Minnesota and Twin Cities Public Television.





The goals of NAMI Basics are:

- To give the parent/caregiver the basic information necessary to take the best care possible of their child, their family, and themselves.

- To help the parent/caregiver cope with the impact that mental illness has on the child living with the illness and the entire family.

- To provide tools for the parent/caregiver to use even after completing the program that will assist in making the best decisions possible for the care of the child.

Upcoming NAMI Basics Class Information:

Classes will begin Thursday, March 3. They will be held at the Monroeville United Methodist Church from 6:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. Call NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania at (412) 366-3788 or email info@namiswpa.org today to learn more and to register for the upcoming class.  Download the NAMI Basics flyer by clicking here.

Contributed by Lora M. Dziemiela, Program Secretary

Introducing...NAMI Basics!

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We are pleased to announce the addition of NAMI Basics to NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania’s signature education programs. NAMI Basics is designed for parents and caregivers of children and adolescents living with mental illness. The course is taught by trained teachers who are the parents of children that developed the symptoms of mental illness prior to the age of 13.

The course consists of six classes, lasting two and a half hours each. All instruction materials are FREE to participants.

The goals of NAMI Basics are:

* To give the parent/caregiver the basic information necessary to take the best care possible of their child, their family and themselves.

* To help the parent/caregiver cope with the impact that mental illness has on the child and the entire family.

* To provide tools for the parent/caregiver to use after completing the course that will assist in making the best decisions possible for the care of the child.

The course includes current information about mental illnesses; insights into understanding the lived experience of the child diagnosed with the mental illness; current research related to the biology of mental illness and the evidence-based, most effective treatment strategies available; specific skill building classes to learn problem-solving, listening and communication skills; and dealing with the school system, among other topics.

The first class will be held at Monroeville United Methodist Church each Thursday evening beginning March 3 to April 7 from 6 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania Associate Director Debbie Ference and NAMI Volunteer Denise Michaels will be teaching the class.

SPACE IS LIMITED. If you are interested in signing up for the class, please call the NAMI office at 412-366-3788 or email dference@namiswpa.org.

Contributed by Lora M. Dziemiela, Program Secretary

NAMI Basics

Last weekend NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's Associate Director Debbie Ference and NAMI volunteer Denise Michaels attended a NAMI Basics training in Philadelphia.

NAMI Basics is the new signature education program for parents and other caregivers of children and adolescents living with mental illnesses. The NAMI Basics course is taught by trained teachers who are the parent or other caregivers of individuals who developed the symptoms of mental illness prior to the age of 13 years.

NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania is eager to bring NAMI Basics to the southwestern Pa. region in addition to its other education programs.

NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania volunteer Denise Michaels and Associate Director Debbie Ference (front row, far left) at the NAMI Basics training in Philadelphia

NAMI Basics instructor Teri Brister

Family-to-Family Update: North Hills Class Added!

Another Family-to-Family class will be starting this September - a North Hills class will be taking place at the NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania office!

Details for the North Hills Family-to-Family class are as follows:

Location:  105 Braunlich Drive Suite 200  Pittsburgh, PA 15237

Class Starting Date: Sept. 14

Class Time: 6:30-9 p.m.

To register for this or any of the Family-to-Family classes, call 412-366-3788!

Family to Family: Fall Classes and Teacher Training Update

Fall is almost here, and that means NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's Fall Family-to-Family Education Classes will be starting soon. Sponsored by NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania and NAMI Pennsylvania, the Family-to-Family Education Program is a free, 11-week course held in March and September for families and friends of individuals with brain disorders called serious mental illness. The course is taught by trained family members who have lived with this experience. Many family members describe this program as a life-changing experience.



In an effort to expand the Family-to-Family program throughout the 10-county region, NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania held a July Family-to-Family Teacher Training at the North Hills office. Training took place over three days and consisted of four psychoeducational classes that covered basic factual information as well as training about the emotional aspects of the family experience. The nine individuals that completed the July training are: Jean Cheppa, Theresa Gleason, Susan Harrington, Jennifer Lukondi, Mary Lindsay, Joyce (Maci) Maciak, Christine Michaels, Susan Niesser and Annie Watson.

September Family-to-Family classes will be held at the following locations:

Squirrel Hill: Children's Institute, 1405 Shady Avenue, Pittsburgh, begins Monday, Sept. 13, 6:30 - 9 p.m.

East Liberty: Veteran's Place of Washington Blvd., 945 Washington Blvd., Pittsburgh, begins Friday, Sept. 10, 6:30 - 9 p.m.

Washington, Pa: 907 Jefferson Avenue, begins Monday, Sept. 20, 7 - 9:30 p.m.

To register for a class or for more information about Family-to-Family or other NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania programs, please call (412)-366-3788!

Step #6 Of Living A Balanced Life

According to NAMI's Family-to-Family program, there are seven principles for caregivers to live a balanced life. The first, second, third, fourth, and fifth principles were highlighted in previous blog posts.

Principle #6 is : Continue pursuing your own interests.

Caring for a loved one with mental illness is an incredibly important role in the life of a family member. The caregiver is an integral part of their loved one's well being and recovery, and it is important to keep emotional reserves full to handle the inevitable challenges.

One key way to do this is to pursue your own interests. Often, caregivers feel guilty taking time for themselves to do something they enjoy. However, filling up one's own reserves by engaging in rewarding activities is a vital part of a well-balanced life.

What is it that you enjoy doing outside of home and work? What activity engages you? Is there something you've been meaning to learn about? Is there a hobby or activity you used to enjoy but stopped doing?

In pursuing something for oneself, a caregiver is taking essential steps in offering the loved one a well-rounded, whole person.

For information on mental illness and support for family members, visit the NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania website.

Step #5 Of Living A Balanced Life

According to NAMI's Family-to-Family program, there are seven principles for caregivers to live a balanced life. The first, second, third and fourth principles were highlighted in previous blog posts.

Principle #5 is: Seek out and join a support group.

Support groups are an important resource for people caring for a loved one with mental illness.

Support groups allow caregivers to come together, share ideas, coping tips, experiences and most importantly, to exchange emotional support. Most support groups are facilitated by a leader with personal experience. The primary goal of many support groups is that no one the group serves ever has to feel alone again.

Members report that a support group gives them faith and hope. It makes them laugh despite the trials of their situations. It helps them to come to terms with the illnesses of their loved ones. Together, the mutual support can be an integral part of a balanced life for a caregiver.

To find a support group, visit the Support Group page on NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's website.

Family-to-Family Week 11/12

Note: One of our current participants is writing a weekly series about her experience in NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's 12-week education program. This is her final post.*

Part of the class was devoted to hearing from long time mental health advocates who have been active in organizations like NAMI for years. They told us about the struggles they have gone through and the persistence is takes to make change happen. Advocacy by family members is so important because we live with the challenges of mental illness every day, and, often, the mentally ill cannot speak for themselves.

Advocacy not only creates changes in the system, but it also helps heal the families of those with mental illness. Giving back keeps your focus on positive things and prevents you from becoming mired in your own problems.

As we sampled the goodies that each of us brought to this last class, we discussed what the Family-to-Family experience had meant to each of us. One of the most often mentioned gifts was that of friendship and support. Before, many of us had felt isolated and alone with our loved one's problems. Now we each knew a dozen or more people in our own community who were struggling with the same issues. And, given the statistic that, over a lifetime, one in four people will be affected by mental illness, we all know now that we are not alone; there are many others out there just like us. We also know, thanks to this class, that there is help for our loved ones and hope for the future.

Most of our last Family-to-Family class was a celebration--of making it through 11 Monday nights, of the discoveries we'd made about our loved ones and ourselves, and of the bonding that had taken place between all of us during class and in our lingering discussions after.

We also celebrated the hope we had found in the model of recovery, and the strength of those who came before us to create NAMI and the Family-to-Family program.

For more information, Visit the Family-to-Family section of the NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania website.

*The Family-to-Family course is normally 12 weeks, but the co-teachers combined weeks 11 and 12 into one class.

Family-to-Family Week 10

Note: One of our current Family-to-Family participants is writing a weekly series about her experience in NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's 12-week education program. This is her 10th post.

When a loved one's behavior changes and a diagnosis of mental illness is made, the family's immediate concern is for the present situation--getting their loved one appropriate treatment. But, what happens after that? Until the late 80s, the treatment model for mental illness did not extend beyond stabilization and maintenance. People were given medication and therapy to control their symptoms or behaviors, but there was no discussion of recovery. People with mental illness and their families were given no vision of hope for moving beyond the status quo.

However, with the input of family members and mental health consumers, and the creation of innovative rehabilitation programs, recovery has become the focus of long-term treatment. Our Family-to-Family class discussed the concept of recovery, how it means something different for each individual, and how it begins with an individuals decision to "lead a hopeful life and to make a contribution in spite of the limitations imposed by illness" (Patricia Deegan, Consumer and Clinical Psychologist).

Our guest speaker for the second half of the class was a recovering mental health consumer, who had been through years of misdiagnosis, treatments, tests and hospitalizations. She is now starting her own business, based on helping others with mental illness and is taking an active role in advocating for others as well.

One point in this week's class that struck me was that until an individual has the self awareness to make this decision, we can provide them with understanding, patience and support, but we cannot push them into recovery. Self awareness is often something that is taken away or distorted by mental illness, so it is often a long and difficult road, for both the individual with mental illness and their family, just to get to the point where recovery begins.

Without NAMI and the Family-to-Family class, it was clear that many people in need would not even know where to start. There are a number of programs now that supply the atmosphere in which this self awareness is achieved: Clubhouses provide a place for people to simply get out and meet others, talk to peers who have been where they are, and, if they are ready, provide direction for next steps. Job skills training, peer-to-peer supports, housing assistance and job placement assistance are all available to those who are ready to move forward.

For more information, visit the Family-to-Family section of the NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania website.

Step #4 Of Leading A Balanced Life

According to NAMI's Family-to-Family Education Program, there are seven principles for a caregiver to lead a balanced life. The first, second and third principles were discussed in previous posts.

The fourth principle is to maintain social contacts.

Never underestimate the importance of maintaining regular contact with your circle of friends or social network. This can include friends, church contacts, acquaintances from clubs and former or current co-workers. It is important for the primary caregiver to maintain a social network beyond the family or caregiving circle.

These friends--who are not immersed in the family situation--lend support to the caregiving process. They spend time with the caregiver and offer objective advice or insight. They can help the caregiver to focus on interests outside of his/her role as caregiver. They provide comfort during difficult times. They can even run errands for the caregiver in a pinch.

In general, maintaining social contacts gives the caregiver a buffer from day to day challenges and stresses of caregiving. In some cases, friends can be used to air frustrations, concerns or fears. They can be there to vent anger or simply to help the caregiver to relax and have fun for awhile.

Sharing with friends enables the caregiver to come back to their loved ones in a way that helps them better to nurture and help the family member in need.

Information and support for families can be found at the NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania website.

Family-to-Family Week 9

Note: One of our current Family-to-Family participants is writing a weekly series about her experience in NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's 12-week class. This is her ninth post.

Throughout the Family-to-Family course, we've been learning about our loved one's mental illness, and how to help them through communication, understanding and advocating for them. All of these tools will serve everyone involved in our loved one's care; but, as family members who provide support in so many ways, we need to make sure that our feelings and needs are not being ignored or suppressed by our focus on our loved one's care. If we don't make room in our lives for the expression of our own feelings and we don't set boundaries, we can become burned out.

An analogy to the importance of caregivers and family members paying attention to their own needs was brought up in class and is one that travelers have often heard as part of the pre-flight safety instructions: "If you are traveling with a child, kindly secure your oxygen mask before securing theirs." The reason for this is that if you don't help yourself first, you won't be able to help the child.

Having a loved one with mental illness can be a burden, but often we take the stoic route and pretend as if our feelings and needs don't matter as much as our loved ones. They do. In class we discussed what some of the typical burdens are. We discussed our own feelings and the specific burdens we encounter as a result of a family member's mental illness. And, we learned ways to make these burdens lighter by taking positive actions to balance out the heavy responsibilities that we shoulder. Sometimes you need to give yourself permission to let go of the guilt, pay attention to your social life and your health, and do things that make you feel good. It seems simple, but the payoff is enormous.

For more information, visit the Family-to-Family section of the NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania website.

Step #3 Of Leading A Balanced Life

Self-care for the caregiver is essential. According to NAMI's Family-to-Family education program, there are seven principles for a caregiver to lead a balanced life. The first principle and second principle were discussed in previous posts.

The third principle is: Watch Your Stress Level.

Stress is an unavoidable part of life. We know that it can wreak havoc on our bodies and our lives.

A key component to managing stress is to learn your own personal warning signs that you are becoming stressed.

All of us handle stress differently. While one person's warning sign might be snapping at a family member or co-worker, another person's might be sleeplessness or a physical reaction like an aching neck.

It's important to identify your personal "red flags" so that you can address the stress before it reaches a point of overwhelm.

Once you've identified an early sign that you are stressed, it's time to take a step back and slow down. Don't underestimate the importance of acknowledging that you are stressed, taking deep breaths and taking a step back (in whatever way you can) from the situation.

From there, each of us must determine what helps during times of stress. There is no one answer for everyone. For some people, going for a walk or run helps tremendously. For others, baking, bathing, writing or listening to music might help. Some people want to be alone while others feel the need to vent to a friend or therapist.

Each of us is unique, and self-knowledge is critical when it comes to watching stress levels. Know your signs. Know when to take a step back. And know what things you can do that help relieve your stress.

Helping yourself is one of the best things you can do for your loved one.

Family-to-Family Week 8

Note: One of our current Family-to-Family participants is writing a weekly series about her experience in NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's 12-week class. This is her eighth post.

While learning about mental illness is vital, learning how to communicate and work with loved ones can make a huge difference in a family member or caregiver's ability to cope from day-to-day.

This week's Family-to-Family class focused on communication skills. When someone with a mental illness is symptomatic, their cognitive overload can make communicating with them extremely difficult. Additionally, the stress of caring for someone who is suffering from a mental illness can impair normal communication skills. In order to overcome these barriers, it is helpful to first understand why our loved ones have trouble hearing us, and secondly to employ communication skills that respectfully set boundaries and convey empathy.

First we performed an exercise to help us understand what it may be like for a person with an active mental illness to listen to and make sense of what they're hearing. The exercise underscored the difficulties many people have in filtering out external distractions and sometimes even the thoughts in their own head when trying to focus on one voice or task.

We then learned and practiced two communication skills: "I statements" which directly communicated thoughts, needs and feelings in a way that does not put the other person on the defensive; and "Reflective Responses" to demonstrate that you hear what the other person is saying and that you understand why they might feel the way they do. This type of response validates the other person's feelings and enables you to connect and empathize with them.

Certainly it will take practice, and as we discussed in class, some planning to implement these strategies in the real world, but with patience and understanding, hope is that they will help break through some of the communication barriers in our relationships with our loved ones.

For more information, visit the Family-to-Family section of NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's website.

Family-to-Family Week 7

Note: One of our current Family-to-Family participants is writing a weekly series about her experience with NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's 12-week education program. This is her seventh post.

"Empathy is: The intimate comprehension of another person's thoughts and feelings, without imposing our own judgment or expectations."

It can also be thought of as "putting oneself in another's shoes." But, how can you do that when you have never actually, and most likely could not possibly ever fully experience what your loved one with mental illness is experiencing as the life they know is taken away from them?

In class we listened to several scenarios that challenged us to imagine how someone with mental illness might be feeling. For instance, imagine that your mind, the origin of your personality, is lost, or altered in some way so that it no longer feels right to you. People have started treating you differently, giving you wary looks that you can't understand, getting impatient when you can't remember something, or telling you that what you're experiencing isn't real. How would you feel, and how would you act in this situation? Would you be afraid - so afraid that you would start to withdraw from others? Or would you pretend like it wasn't happening, just keep pushing the growing terror down and lashing out at those who were trying to help you? And, after you realize that this situation, this altered state of being is the new status quo, would you feel like giving up? Would you keep trying to make it back to your old life even though it seems that every one step forward runs the risk of dragging you two steps back?

By understanding how these inner feelings affect behaviors, we gained a better understanding of the emotions fueling the actions of our loved ones with mental illness. And, by understanding the stages of emotional response, we learned to accept that there is a path that they need to follow (albeit a path beset with obstacles, switchbacks and meanderings).

In essence, by having empathy for our loved ones, we are acknowledging them as individuals rather than illnesses or diagnoses or dependents. We are recognizing and attesting to a part of them--their inner selves--that they have been desperately guarding for fear it would be taken from them by their illness. And in doing this, we are fostering the self-esteem that is essential to their recovery.

For more information, visit the Family-to-Family section of NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's website.

Step #2 Of Leading A Balanced Life

NAMI's signature family education program Family-to-Family is a multi-faceted 12-week course for families who have a loved one diagnosed with a mental illness. Self-care for the caregiver is one of many focuses. There are seven principles for a caregiver to lead a balanced life. Last week we discussed the first principle.

The second principle is: Strive for good physical health.

Of course, everyone should strive for good physical health, but it is especially important for the caregiver. Growing bodies of evidence show that a family member providing care to a loved one with a chronic or disabling condition is also at risk. Physical health problems can arise from complex caregiving situations.

There are many ways to sustain one's physical health. Even following the most basic rules for good physical health can make a huge difference in a caregiver's overall well being.

Nourish your body with healthy food and drinks. Eating well most of the time is key to optimal health and energy when caring for another. There are a wealth of resources on the Internet and books/magazines available to educate yourself on healthy eating. Also check with your health insurance plan to see if it covers or offers nutrition counseling.

Exercise or use your body. Some people think exercise will wear them out, but it actually gives you energy! While you should check with your doctor before beginning any exercise program, simply adding extra activities to your day, such as taking the stairs, helps to use your body as it was intended.

Visit your doctor regularly. Don't skip annual exams. Talk openly to your doctor about any physical and mental health concerns. Advocate for your own health the way you do for your loved one.

Try deep breathing. This is something anyone can do, anytime. Again, there is a wealth of information available on deep breathing exercises, and more and more experts are encouraging this practice for good physical health.

As a caregiver, it is imperative to your loved one that you take care of YOU.

For more information on support for family members, visit the NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania website.

Family-to-Family Week 6

Note: One of our current Family-to-family participants is writing a weekly series about her experience with NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's 12-week education class. This is her sixth post.

Medications can be a very frustrating aspect of treatment for mental illness, both for the consumer and caregivers. What works well for one person with depression, may not work at all for another; or the medications that keep a person functional during the day, may also keep them up all night. Often one medication's side effects must be treated with another medication.

Many people in our Family-to-Family group had experienced the frustration of having their loved one's diagnosis -- and subsequently their medication -- changed time and time again, leaving them to wonder if the professionals they trusted to give them answers were doing anything more than guessing.

It's hard to ask a doctor about these seeming inconsistencies, especially as they sometimes take affront to any suggestion that their professional opinion is being questioned. So it was extremely refreshing and enlightening to have a physician come to our class and talk openly about the the problems of diagnosis, pharmaceutical treatments, and side effects; and, to frankly address how mainstream medicine creates a mirage of seemingly inviolate truths when, in fact, science is challenging and changing what we know about mental illness every day.

One of the most impactful revelations, to me, was the "Bible" of mental illness, the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) in its next revision (version 4 is used currently) will be more focused on categorical diagnoses as opposed to the dimensional mechanisms that are currently employed. This change will make diagnosis more fluid, with considerations for co-occurring disorders and the overlap between diagnoses of many symptoms. Diagnosis, and treatment plans, will then target symptoms rather than attempt to force all the varied and numerous expressions of mental illness neatly into blanket categories.

Next Week, we'll learn about empathy -- a gift we can all give and, gratefully, use.

For more information, visit the Family-to-Family section of NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's website.

Step #1 Of Leading A Balanced Life

NAMI's signature family education program Family-to-Family is a multi-faceted program for families who have a loved one diagnosed with a mental illness. Self-care for the caregiver is one of many focuses. There are seven principles for a caregiver to lead a balanced life, as discussed in last week's blog post.

Here is more detail on principle #1: Do as much as you can physically and financially to improve the situation, but don't feel guilty about all you won't be able to do.

If it isn't possible to maintain a degree of peace, dignity and well being within the family while the person with mental illness lives at home, other arrangements should be made. If it is necessary, don't be embarrassed about seeking public support through available social services such as community clinics or state hospitals. You have every right to ask for information and help from the facilities of our state Department of Mental Health. Tax dollars are meant to support the truly disabled.

For more information on mental illness or the Family-to-Family program, visit the NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania website.

Family-to-Family Week 5

Note: One of our current Family-to-Family participants is writing a weekly series about her experience with NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's 12-week class. This is her fifth post.

Imagine harnessing the collective experience of nearly 20 experts and "lay-experts" to personally address your one most pressing problem.

We were assigned homework for this week: to define one problem that you have with your loved one and describe our emotional response to the problem. Then, we were to see if our emotional response to the problem helped us redefine the original problem. I see where they're going with this--in many cases the only thing I have control over is my own reaction to the problem. And, often, my reaction causes escalation of the original problem or creates a whole new problem altogether. This reminds me of the variation of the Serenity Prayer I learned at the NAMI National Conference: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that that one is me."

Unfortunately, while most of the problems described in our group tonight involved extremely emotional responses, there were more serious and pressing issues underlying them. As a group, we worked on each dilemma, following a problem-solving technique called P.O.W., which involves reviewing the Past Experience with the problem--who has tried what, what has worked, what hasn't; listing Options--new things to try to resolved the issue; and What if--picking a second option to try if the first choice either cannot be implemented or does not work as planned.

For each problem, the group was tasked with listing 10-12 possible solutions. The reaction to some of our suggestions was as if we were giving new hope to people who felt they'd "tried everything." Most of the people had never heard of Clubhouses--places where a person with a mental illness can go to socialize, learn job skills or get information on housing, jobs and other supports. In several cases, it was suggested that a new doctor be consulted or medications evaluated, encouraging action in situations that had become accepted as "the norm" although they were steadily eroding the lives of those involved.

Next week we have a guest speaker who will answer our medication questions--how valuable would it be to have answers to your questions about your loved one's medication?

For more information, visit the Family-to-Family section of NAMI Southwestern Pennsylvania's website.